Advice for International Students
As the seasons are changing, and I begin to scour through my suitcase to find weather appropriate clothing to wear, it quickly becomes apparent to me that I am no longer home. Having been born in Cameroon and never really experiencing cold weather, this is the very real slap in the face that reminds me that my family is thousands of miles away and that the loneliness I often feel when I’m alone in my room is not only an emotional experience but also a very physical one. Despite the fact that loneliness can feel all consuming, there are ways to dim this very intense emotional state while you patiently await your next visit home. Here is some advice from some fellow international students on how to manage the homesickness that can often become crippling:
Find communities on campus that make you feel like you don’t have to explain aspects of your identity constantly, a space that allows you to exist unapologetically. Though Barnard prides itself on its diversity, and rightfully so, it becomes very easy to notice how different you may be from other students when you have to explain how your experience living in America differs because of you F1 Visa I am currently a part of the African Student Association where I can listen to music from back home and where even if we’re not all from the same countries, our continental identities make us feel like a community. It has helped me find people who are living a similar experience to my own.
Eat familiar food. No matter where you are from there are definitely places in New York where you can find familiar food that can remind you of home. If not find some recipes online and grab one of your friends and make some comforting meals. My friend from Ghana recently informed me of an app, African Dishout, that she uses to buy the necessary ingredients for her to make some authentic Ghanaian dishes. If cooking is not really your thing and you’re financially not in the position to spend money eating out, make sure to put comfort snacks at the very top of your packing list.
Don't be scared to pick up the phone and call home. The first week of school I called my mom every night and my best friend every other night. Even though it took a lot of my time to make these calls, they were a reprieve from thinking about my next assignment or midterm. One of my best friends lives in a country with a 12 hour time difference, so when I’m waking up she’s falling asleep and vice versa, but when I’m up late and need a study buddy I often call her and we study on the phone for hours together. Sometimes we just call each other to be in each other's presence and she makes me feel at home.
Keep busy by trying new things. Sometimes the intense homesickness can come from the continuous routine of waking up, going to class, eating and doing it all over again. Feeling like you are constantly on can easily get draining and make you reminisce about the days when you had less to worry about.. Last year during the week before midterms, my friend and I signed up for a beginners pole dancing class. Though I made an absolute fool of myself in front of seven strangers, the break from constantly having my eyes on a screen or my head in my books was very necessary.
The year has just begun so your homesickness may be at an all time high but I hope some of this advice comes in handy when you're attempting to rid yourself of that loneliness. Don’t forget that you are not alone: there are other people experiencing this sense of loneliness, so lean on your friends and if you really think you need to call someone, contact the Furman Counseling Center.